CBT – Understanding some of your negative thinking

There will be times when others project their own insecurities, fears, sadness, and disappointments, on to you – and at other times, you might do the same to others, and life situations.

One of the things I teach clients who come to me for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), is to begin understanding their automatic thoughts.  Below is a list of some of the common automatic thoughts we all have to some degree.  However, how often, and how intrusive these thoughts are, maybe a ‘symptom’ of an underlining issue that might benefit from some attention, greater exploration, and care.

 

As said, some of these are common to some degree, so as therapists, we work to openly explore these thoughts (and there roots), with you – without negative judgement.

 

I hope you find these helpful.

 

From, Novena-Chanel

21 TYPES OF DISTORTED AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS

  1. Mind Reading. You assume that you know what people think without having

sufficient evidence of their thoughts “He thinks I’m a loser”.

  1. Fortunetelling. You predict the future negatively. Things will get worse, or there

is danger ahead “I’ll fail that exam,” or “I won’t get the job.”

  1. Catastrophizing. You believe that what has happened or will happen will be so

awful and un-bearable that you won’t be able to stand it. “It would be terrible if I failed”.

  1. Labelling. You assign global negative traits to yourself and others. “I’m undesirable,” or “He’s a rotten person.”

5. Discounting positives. You claim that the positive things you or others do are trivial.

“That’s what wives are supposed to do – so doesn’t count when she’s nice to me.” Or

“Those  successes were easy, so that don’t matter.”

  1. Negative filtering. You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “Look at all of the people who don’t like me.”
  1. Overgeneralizing. You perceive a global pattern of negatives on the basis of a single incident. “This generally happens to me. I seem to fail at a lot of things.”

Continue reading “CBT – Understanding some of your negative thinking”

The Five Principles of Reiki that lead to peace

Today I am remembering The Five Reiki Principles while practicing some deep breathing… Today WILL be a positive and blessed day, because I will make it one.

I) Just for today, I will not be angry.

Anger at others, ourselves, or at the world, creates blockages within our energy, and releases harmful chemicals within our bodies, slowly damaging out system. It is the most complex, silent, and deadly inner enemy.

So for me… “I’m letting go of anger to bring peace into my life, and balance within my body.”

2) Just for today, I will not worry.

Worry and stress usually relies on our future fears, anxieties and ‘predictions’. We allow ourselves to become weighed down with expectations, pressure and at times, the fear of others judging us badly.

The constant stress state causes cortisol to flood our body, as well as adrenaline, drawing blood away from our vital organs, dropping our IQ points by 10-15 points, and slowly unbalancing and affecting our health, thoughts, and lives.

So for me, “Today I let go of worries and the pressures of/from others… I will practice saying ‘No’, and only take on what I want to handle.”

3) Just for today, I will be grateful.

The feeling of gratitude is a truly powerful message to self and the world. Have you ever watched a child’s eyes light up when receiving something they truly want? Have you silently watched as they spend time acquainting themselves with a new toy; trying to understand and memorize everything?

What about watching someone, after an accident, take their first step? Or someone taking their first breathe?

That is gratitude. That is being thankful, in that moment, for everything and anything.

So for me…

“I am truly thankful for all that I have and all that is yet to come. I am grateful for the blessing of life that I have been given, and giving thanks that my friends and loved ones have also risen with me this morning. Thank you.”

4) Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

I do not know about you, but I am a firm believer in intention and the energetic connection we all share.

If I intentionally try to cheat you, or go about my business in a way to harm, damage or steal from you, my business and wealth is based upon lies, the fear of lack/loss, and negative energy.

Honesty, for me, is a value that earns respect and invites honesty from others, and towards ourselves. A lack mentality promotes competition, harm, lies and fear.

So for me…

“I carry out my work honestly and openly, knowing that I am abundant in opportunities, wealth, time, and health. Their is enough for everyone.”

5) Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.

From the bus driver that may drive off as I run to catch my morning bus (lol), to my Mother that calls a thousand times to ask where I last saw her keys, to the insect that is rested upon my desk… I will show patience, care, and calmness, not just for them, but for my own health and Wellbeing.

So finally, for me…

“I will remember that all living things that I encounter today, all have a part, journey, role and survival aim, just like me. I will not interfere with theirs.”‘

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and harmonizes the energies within you.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

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Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and Organizational Consultant.
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You can follow me on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

Twitter: @talktherapylnd

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” – Dodinsky

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” – Dodinsky

We can never fully care for someone else, to the best of our abilities, if we do not care for ourselves first.

We are our own example of care; the way you treat yourself, is the example you set for others about how they should see you, treat you, and meet you in expectations.

Be there for others, but never to the detriment of yourself.

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and fills you with peace and joy.

From Novena-Chanel.

__________
Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Follow on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

It is okay to say ‘No’.

It is okay to say ‘No’. It really is.

Your promises are a commitment you co-sign your soul to honour.

Think wisely before you offer yourself into soul contracts; not everyone needs your signature, and every task/commitment does not need your input.

Stop writing cheques that your time/energy/resources and mind can not cash.

Doing with a heavy heart is an insult to yourself and others, just say ‘No’. Those that truly respect you, will respect your ‘No’, and value when you next say ‘Yes’.

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that exceeds all expectations, and allows you to peaceful speak your truth.

From Novena-Chanel
Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Follow her on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

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Let’s Practice What We Preach/Teach

 

 

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So many of us post amazing and inspiring posts on Facebook, Twitter and Social Networks, but how quickly do we forget those same words of wisdom when away from our screens, or in real life situations?

Let this week be the start of us truly practising the wisdom we post.

Have a blessed and productive week ahead guys; one that truly exceeds your expectations.

Novena-Chanel

Happiness starts within

When picking a mate, go for the person who is already happy with what they have now… if you can not find happiness within, within your own life and circumstances, you will never find true happiness outside, not even in another person.

Today, allow yourself to see the blessings in your lessons, the joys in your life, and the gifts in your skills.
May the day ahead exceed your expectations.
Novena-Chanel.
Copyright © 2013. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

Learning to reconnect with ourselves; trusting ourselves.

There is a saying that those who seek advice from others already know the answer, but just do not want to accept it.

Do you find yourself continuously turning to others for advice; For some form of validation or reassurance; Only to be told what you already know, deep down inside.

You see, you already know everything you need, you just do not trust yourself enough to truly accept it.

Some therapist describe this as a separation from our own internal locus of evaluation; our ability to know what we want, think, feel and need. We lose trust of our own processes of evaluating this and instead seek external means of reasurrance (family, friends, partners, professionals etc).

It is believed that this separation occurs in childhood. As a child we know when we are hungry, hurt, tired, angry and in need. Just sit and observe a small child; they ask for what they want, when they want. They cry when they are hungry, tired and/or in need, and pay no attention to social norms or ‘common decency’ and timing. It’s great!… well, not always for the parents or those of us who are sat next to them on the train.

But, as they/we begin to interact with others (usually our main care givers) we learn to adapt to the needs of others. We learn the value of ‘conditional’ love; I love you if/when you do ‘X’ ‘Y’ ‘Z’ and I do not like/love you (or I will ignore, scold or mock you) if you do not/do ‘X’ ‘Y’ ‘Z’ and/or upset, inconvenience or disobey me.

This teaches us to begin adjusting ourselves to continue to receive the conditional love and liking of others. We take on different masks and roles of who we think the world needs us to be in order to get respect, love and/or accept us; directly alienating ourselves from the core of who we truly are and what we truly need, want, feel and desire). We learn to accept conditional love, instead of understanding, seeking and appreciating the unconditional love of others; a love that comes without you having to bury who you are and what you need).

Many continue this way for years, some have the occasional disturbance (a situation where the mask/self concept you have created to appease others is threatened and/or in conflict with your true self, causing you to have a breakdown, become enraged, become depressed and/or retreat within), but the unfamiliarity of who you truly are may have become so alien that many escape from it once again, vowing to never return. Readjusting themselves further, smothering their true self once more.

Finding, acknowledging, accepting and loving who we truly are, is the greatest gift, pleasure and comfort anyone can give to themselves and the world. The feeling of security, assurance and confidence this brings, allows you/us to enter and engage in relationships with self awareness, self discipline, unconditional love and genuineness. Now doesn’t that sound like a relationship you want to be in?

Today allow yourself to stop and think about what you actually want; what feels uncomfortable, what feels natural to you, what causes anger or disturbance… what is your gut feeling?

Let us begin reconnecting with our own locuses of evaluation.

Have a blessed and productive day and weekend ahead; one that exceeds your expectations.

Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2013. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.