Understanding our Attachment and Detachment Styles

Understanding your attachment style (the way you connect with and react to others) is one of the keys to understanding your relationships and beliefs about yourself.

Some theorists believe that children develop an attachment style through their interaction with their main caregiver (usually a mother), and this pattern then continues on into their adult relationships with partners, friends, children, and even themselves.

Below are the four main types of attachment styles (and detachment styles), can you see yourself or others within it?

We all deserve to feel secure, safe and loved – it is a part of being human.

I therefore wish you a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and invites security and peace.

From Novena-Chanel
Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

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Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, and Organizational Consultant.

Follow on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLDN

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: https://www. youtube.com/channel/UCXtvuEDL3r9rYtPHhlcfUHg

 

Attachment Styles      Detachment Stykes

 

We judge ourselves by our intentions, but others by their actions.

Last week, during a session with a lovely client, she spoke of a quote that almost summed up most of our interactions as people; she said (in brief and not word for word):

“We judge ourselves by our intentions, and others by their actions.”

The quote was new to me, but so very poignant.

We usually tell people that it was not our intention to hurt, annoy or offend them, sometimes justifying ourselves and not acknowledging that our actions have already caused the harm. Yet for many of us, we sometimes forget that others may also have different intentions than their actions show, instead, solely judging them by the outcome of their actions, summing things up by its effect on us or others, and then expecting others to judge us by a different standard…our intentions.

True food for thought.

So today, I wish you a day that is full of compassion and thought; a day full of positive intentions and matching actions.

Have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Follow her on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: https://www. youtube.com/channel/UCXtvuEDL3r9rYtPHhlcfUHg

If the answer is ‘No’, say ‘No’.

The most powerful and self-preserving word you can own, is the word ‘No’.

Too many of us say ‘Yes’ when we mean ‘No’, and even more of us say ‘Yes’ to others, while saying ‘No’ to ourselves.

If you feel unable to say ‘No’, tell them that you are unable to answer right now, but you will get back to them. Then, think about it – do you really want to do it? What will it involve?

Many believe because they can, they have to or should. That is a lie; a massive lie to yourself and societies social condition.

It is okay to say ‘No’, and it is okay to be Self-First.

So I’m wishing you a day full of ‘No’s’ to others needs that backstage yours, and ‘Yes’s’ to your own self-care, health, development, peace and joy.

Have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, and Organizational Consultant.
_________
Follow her on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london
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The Five Principles of Reiki that lead to peace

Today I am remembering The Five Reiki Principles while practicing some deep breathing… Today WILL be a positive and blessed day, because I will make it one.

I) Just for today, I will not be angry.

Anger at others, ourselves, or at the world, creates blockages within our energy, and releases harmful chemicals within our bodies, slowly damaging out system. It is the most complex, silent, and deadly inner enemy.

So for me… “I’m letting go of anger to bring peace into my life, and balance within my body.”

2) Just for today, I will not worry.

Worry and stress usually relies on our future fears, anxieties and ‘predictions’. We allow ourselves to become weighed down with expectations, pressure and at times, the fear of others judging us badly.

The constant stress state causes cortisol to flood our body, as well as adrenaline, drawing blood away from our vital organs, dropping our IQ points by 10-15 points, and slowly unbalancing and affecting our health, thoughts, and lives.

So for me, “Today I let go of worries and the pressures of/from others… I will practice saying ‘No’, and only take on what I want to handle.”

3) Just for today, I will be grateful.

The feeling of gratitude is a truly powerful message to self and the world. Have you ever watched a child’s eyes light up when receiving something they truly want? Have you silently watched as they spend time acquainting themselves with a new toy; trying to understand and memorize everything?

What about watching someone, after an accident, take their first step? Or someone taking their first breathe?

That is gratitude. That is being thankful, in that moment, for everything and anything.

So for me…

“I am truly thankful for all that I have and all that is yet to come. I am grateful for the blessing of life that I have been given, and giving thanks that my friends and loved ones have also risen with me this morning. Thank you.”

4) Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

I do not know about you, but I am a firm believer in intention and the energetic connection we all share.

If I intentionally try to cheat you, or go about my business in a way to harm, damage or steal from you, my business and wealth is based upon lies, the fear of lack/loss, and negative energy.

Honesty, for me, is a value that earns respect and invites honesty from others, and towards ourselves. A lack mentality promotes competition, harm, lies and fear.

So for me…

“I carry out my work honestly and openly, knowing that I am abundant in opportunities, wealth, time, and health. Their is enough for everyone.”

5) Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.

From the bus driver that may drive off as I run to catch my morning bus (lol), to my Mother that calls a thousand times to ask where I last saw her keys, to the insect that is rested upon my desk… I will show patience, care, and calmness, not just for them, but for my own health and Wellbeing.

So finally, for me…

“I will remember that all living things that I encounter today, all have a part, journey, role and survival aim, just like me. I will not interfere with theirs.”‘

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and harmonizes the energies within you.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator, and Organizational Consultant.
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You can follow me on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

Twitter: @talktherapylnd

Are you happy? Is there peace and joy?

Yes? Keep doing what you are doing.
No? Do you want peace and joy?

Yes? Change something.

No? As above, keep doing what you are doing.
Sometimes, it really is that simple.

That feeling of anxiety, irritability, frustration, sadness or hopelessness… how is that working out for you?

Everyday is a new opportunity to start again. It is an opportunity to win, succeed, grow, develop, start a new hobby, end a negative cycle.

Write up the things that make you feel good, and things that don’t, and the begin changing, removing, or simply accepting /making peace with the things you can not change. Most importantly, start doing, increasing, and committing to the things that do!

Good morning!

Many you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and gives you a brave new page to begin writing.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.
_________
Follow her on:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

Twitter: @novenachanel / @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

Self-Care: Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.

 

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Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. It is truly that simple.

Do others tend to ignore you? Well, do you ignore yourself sometimes?

Do others take advantage of you? Well, do you overlook and/or push yourself too hard sometimes?

Do others forget about you? Well, do you forget about your own needs, health, appointments & care sometimes?

It always starts with self.

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and starts with self-first.

From Novena-Chanel

Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Find me on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” – Dodinsky

“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” – Dodinsky

We can never fully care for someone else, to the best of our abilities, if we do not care for ourselves first.

We are our own example of care; the way you treat yourself, is the example you set for others about how they should see you, treat you, and meet you in expectations.

Be there for others, but never to the detriment of yourself.

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations, and fills you with peace and joy.

From Novena-Chanel.

__________
Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Follow on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

It is okay to say ‘No’.

It is okay to say ‘No’. It really is.

Your promises are a commitment you co-sign your soul to honour.

Think wisely before you offer yourself into soul contracts; not everyone needs your signature, and every task/commitment does not need your input.

Stop writing cheques that your time/energy/resources and mind can not cash.

Doing with a heavy heart is an insult to yourself and others, just say ‘No’. Those that truly respect you, will respect your ‘No’, and value when you next say ‘Yes’.

May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that exceeds all expectations, and allows you to peaceful speak your truth.

From Novena-Chanel
Copyright © 2015. Novena-Chanel Davies. All Rights Reserved.

_____________

Novena-Chanel Davies, the Equilibrium Coach, is a Vegan, Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Practitioner, Writer, and Director.

Follow her on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

Website: www.talktoatherapist.london

Facebook: www.facebook.com/talktherapylondon

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtV-YU5c-wGX4PW8j8_2yZw

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You have the power to stop, turn around, and change direction

Staircase Directions Novena-Chanel

 

Today is going to be a good day! Why? Because I/we have the power to make it a good day.

Smile at any difficulties or stresses that the day may present; peacefully let go of the situations you can longer handle or change; and give praise and words of gratitude for the opportunities, blessings, and obstacles you have been given.

Just like the staircase, it always depends where you are stood, when deciding if it is going up or down.

. You decide.”

As I always say (my tag line)… May you have a blessed and productive day ahead; one that truly exceeds all expectations.

– Novena-Chanel Davies

Psychotherapist/Counsellor I Coach I Nutritional Advisor I Director.

Copyright © 2015.  Novena-Chanel Davies.  All Rights Reserved.
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Join me on:

Twitter: @talktherapyLND

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